Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

509 - Honor is only running for Mount Anville head girl to downgrade her old dear’s greatest life achievement

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The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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509 - Honor is only running for Mount Anville head girl to downgrade her old dear’s greatest life achievement

Sat, 27 Apr 2024
508 - ‘There’s a video of me doing the rounds on this famous Tick Tocks dot com’

Mon, 22 Apr 2024
507 - ‘You should be ashamed of yourselves! We’re old enough to be your parents and we’ve taken you to three sets!’

Fri, 12 Apr 2024
506 - ‘If you play that match, Ross, our marriage is over’

Mon, 08 Apr 2024
505 - ‘You are not having a hort attack! I’m not allowing it!’

Fri, 29 Mar 2024
504 - ‘I didn’t play football for Rathnew. I didn’t play football for anyone. I resent the allegation’

Fri, 22 Mar 2024
503 - Three European Cups, three Six Nations, one Grand Slam – but never winning a Leinster Schools Senior Cup clearly still rankles Heaslip

Fri, 15 Mar 2024
502 - ‘Don’t tell me I don’t know Ross O’Carroll-Kelly. You bullied me for most of secondary school’

Fri, 08 Mar 2024
501 - ‘I haven’t cheated on you in, like, 10 years, though – well, let’s just say a long time’

Fri, 01 Mar 2024
500 - Honor rubs at the graffiti with a dainty, circular motion, like she’s applying foundation to the face of an elderly loved one

Fri, 23 Feb 2024
499 - Sorcha goes, ‘I don’t need a 26-old copy of Cosmopolitan to tell me that I married the wrong man’

Fri, 16 Feb 2024
498 - Our daughter came out of the womb with two middle fingers raised to the world. That’s not down to us

Sat, 10 Feb 2024
497 - 'I’ve got my top off, and Réaltín’s looking at me like my old man turning his nose up at cheap steak'

Fri, 02 Feb 2024
496 - ‘Honor O’Carroll-Kelly is not the victim. She is a highly intelligent young woman from a privileged background’

Fri, 26 Jan 2024
495 - ‘How could the child of a mother who puts the mental into environmental action grow up with a moral compass?’

Fri, 19 Jan 2024
494 - 'She’s hord work, my new padel portner. But the girl fascinates me. She’s like a female me'

Mon, 15 Jan 2024
493 - ‘Ross, this was my sliding doors moment. And I made the wrong choice’

Fri, 05 Jan 2024
492 - ‘The Leopardstown Races, eh, Ross? A great way to blow off the old cobwebs after Christmas!’

Fri, 29 Dec 2023
491 - Honor is like, ‘There’s no chocolate Kimberleys left,’ and that’s when I end up suddenly losing my sh*t

Fri, 22 Dec 2023
490 - ‘Oh my God, is this really all the books that we own as a family? I’m so ashamed’

Fri, 15 Dec 2023
489 - ‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat. Merry focking Christmas’

Fri, 08 Dec 2023
488 - ‘I’ve never even cleaned up my own children’s vomit, I’m not mopping up after some randomer’

Fri, 01 Dec 2023
487 - ‘Sneaking around behind my wife’s back is something I’m very, very good at, in fairness to me’

Fri, 24 Nov 2023
486 - I wake up on Sunday morning thinking, am I having one of my famous erotic dreams?

Fri, 17 Nov 2023
485 - Sorcha is like me before every Ireland squad announcement – in other words, focking delusional

Fri, 10 Nov 2023
484 - ‘When I close my eyes at night, I can still see that bird’s horrible, leering face’

Fri, 03 Nov 2023
483 - ‘Sorcha, I honestly don’t think we can just saunter in here like nothing has happened’

Fri, 27 Oct 2023
482 - ‘Ross, this is all your fault, you sniggering halfwit - that daughter of yours has been going wrong since the day she was born’

Fri, 27 Oct 2023
481 - ‘Ross, didn’t you get a present of an All Blacks jersey once and use it to wash the cor?’

Fri, 13 Oct 2023
480 - ‘What does being Johnny Sexton’s hype man involve exactly, Dad?’

Fri, 06 Oct 2023
479 - ‘I’ve never seen Sorcha so upset - and given my record as a husband, that’s a genuine achievement’

Fri, 29 Sep 2023
478 - ‘Dad, you need to ask yourself what do you want to be – a rugby fan or a good father?’

Fri, 22 Sep 2023
477 - Some things are more important than family. Rugby happens to be one of them

Tue, 19 Sep 2023
476 - ‘There’s no caps for your so-called matches against Mexico and, I don’t know, Guava Larva. I made the entire thing up’

Fri, 08 Sep 2023
475 - ‘It turns out that every single vehicle in the Mount Anville cor pork has had its tyres done. Except one’

Fri, 01 Sep 2023
474 - ‘A chap taught me how to hot-wire a cor this morning,’ the old man goes

Fri, 25 Aug 2023
473 - I’m no stranger to seeing my old man standing in the dock accused of serious crimes

Fri, 18 Aug 2023
472 - Camino Royale: the final exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book

Thu, 17 Aug 2023
471 - Camino Royale: the second exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book

Wed, 16 Aug 2023
470 - Camino Royale: an exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly book

Tue, 15 Aug 2023
469 - ‘Honor, there has to be a better way of trying to save the planet than this’

Sat, 12 Aug 2023
468 - Dude, you’re not allowed to just, like, shoot seagulls

Fri, 04 Aug 2023
467 - Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot

Fri, 28 Jul 2023
466 - ‘We caught the so-called SUV avenger tonight, in the actual act!’

Fri, 14 Jul 2023
465 - People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life

Fri, 07 Jul 2023
464 - ‘What if the SUV Avenger turned out to be your daughter, Sorcha?’

Fri, 30 Jun 2023
463 - The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor

Sat, 24 Jun 2023
462 - ‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’

Fri, 16 Jun 2023
461 - There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing

Fri, 09 Jun 2023
460 - ‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’

Fri, 02 Jun 2023