Ross O'Carroll-Kelly by The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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Kategori: Komedi

449
- What a day . . . I’ll just send a quick congrats text to Johnny Sexton

Tue, 21 Mar 2023
448
- Girls, if Johnny Sexton was here, he’d tell you – you are never, ever beaten

Fri, 17 Mar 2023
447
- Now I’m doing something that I never do, doubting myself

Fri, 10 Mar 2023
446
- I want this school to be a conveyor belt of women’s rugby talent

Fri, 03 Mar 2023
445
- I’ve ended up on a poster for adult incontinence treatment on a gable wall in, like, Ranelagh

Fri, 24 Feb 2023
444
- I’m getting the tattoo of J-Lowe, a late 40th birthday present to myself

Fri, 17 Feb 2023
443
- One day, there’s going to be a Leinster Schools Senior Cup… for girls!

Fri, 10 Feb 2023
442
- I’m surrounded by people who keep me grounded. I wish they’d focking stop

Fri, 03 Feb 2023
441
- Sixmas is what I call the Six Nations Championship – the most wonderful time of the year

Mon, 30 Jan 2023
440
- Would I have to take my top off for any of these jobs? That wouldn’t be an issue for me

Fri, 20 Jan 2023
439
- If women’s rugby is ever going to be treated seriously, they’ll have to embrace the whole obnoxiousness thing

Fri, 13 Jan 2023
438
- I silently curse myself for giving St Michael’s College credit that they don’t deserve

Fri, 06 Jan 2023
437
- ‘You put the focking Quality Street, the focking Roses and the focking Celebrations in the same bowl!’

Fri, 23 Dec 2022
436
- 'I’m having a slash when in walks Santa, and all my Christmases come at once'

Fri, 16 Dec 2022
435
- It’s the Castlerock College mince pie-eating contest, and Leo is stepping up to the plate

Fri, 09 Dec 2022
434
- ‘I’m not having a Terenure College Christmas tree in the house’

Fri, 02 Dec 2022
433
- 'Honor isn’t for everyone. She takes after her old man in that regord'

Fri, 25 Nov 2022
432
- The neighbours have visions of the Vico Road turning into Morbella

Fri, 18 Nov 2022
431
- ‘Schoolbooks shmoolbooks ... I didn’t do a tap at school and look at me’

Fri, 11 Nov 2022
430
- ‘Newpork is famous for kids with pierced lips...They don’t even care about rugby’

Tue, 08 Nov 2022
429
- 'It’s Halloween week and we’re living in a house that’s, like, haunted – literally'

Fri, 28 Oct 2022
428
- 'I’ve been shocked by the change that has come over my daughter since we moved to Terenure'

Fri, 21 Oct 2022
427
- 'Already I feel like I’ve created a team in my image – in other words, winners'

Fri, 14 Oct 2022
426
- 'I’m a big believer in overpraising my children. Never did me any horm as a kid'

Fri, 07 Oct 2022
425
- 'Honor storts screaming at the top of her lungs. But no one hears her. Because mine are louder'

Fri, 30 Sep 2022
424
- 'Ronan is a – what’s the word – Republican? As in, he’s got the names of the whole crew from 1915 tattooed on his upper orm'

Fri, 23 Sep 2022
423
- 'The girls are staring at me in just, like, awe – they’re ready to learn from the master'

Fri, 16 Sep 2022
422
- ‘Just because I’m a serial liar doesn’t mean that I can’t be trusted’

Fri, 09 Sep 2022
421
- ‘How much would it mean to the girls storting school here to have the legendary Ross O’Carroll-Kelly teaching them rugby?’

Fri, 02 Sep 2022
420
- ‘Sorcha Lalor, you were the best Dalkey Lobster Festival Queen we ever had’

Fri, 26 Aug 2022
419
- I’m lying by the pool, doing my daily sit-ups with my top off, when I hear Honor go, ‘Oh, for fock’s sake! Not these two focking clowns!

Fri, 19 Aug 2022
418
- ‘Pissing in a swimming pool is a bit like farting at Mass. The trick is to squeeze it out quietly’

Sat, 13 Aug 2022
417
- What are the girls in Mount Anville going to say when they find out you’re living in a housing estate?

Sat, 06 Aug 2022
416
- I look fantastic for a man of 42, abs like speed bumps and pecs like bay windows

Fri, 29 Jul 2022
415
- ‘No focking way. I’m not breaking into the dude’s office’

Fri, 22 Jul 2022
414
- ‘I wonder sometimes are these kids definitely mine’

Fri, 15 Jul 2022
413
- Our daughter is completely devoid of human feeling

Fri, 08 Jul 2022
412
- Noah is graduating from creche. (Who the fock is Noah?)

Fri, 01 Jul 2022
411
- Sometimes you have to break the Mount Anville code

Fri, 24 Jun 2022
410
- ‘You didn’t think I was going to sit back and watch you allow girls into this school, did you?’

Fri, 17 Jun 2022
409
- ‘I love Honor’s attitude. Not everyone does, but I’d be a major, major fan’

Fri, 10 Jun 2022
408
- Sorcha is still serious about knocking gaff and turning it into aportments

Sat, 04 Jun 2022
406
- "Three triplets and only one can be a mascot for Leinster. Who will it be?"

Fri, 27 May 2022
405
- ‘We want to build a block of aportments... affordable ones’

Fri, 20 May 2022
404
- ‘There are millions of people who would give their right orm to live in Killiney’

Fri, 13 May 2022
403
- Women’s toilets? I mean, what’s next? A hockey pitch?

Fri, 06 May 2022
402
- ‘My antigen is still positive, but I’ve never felt better’

Fri, 29 Apr 2022
401
- ‘I will never forgive your old pair for treating us to this trip’

Sat, 23 Apr 2022
400
- ‘You focking idiot, Ross! Chocolate is poisonous to dogs’

Sat, 16 Apr 2022
399
- ‘Fifteen rooms is a lot to put down.’

Mon, 11 Apr 2022

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